WCQF Game 6

Monday, Apr. 27 @ 7:30, TV: CSN-BA

They hate us.

We hate them.

Blocking a shot may be the difference between reaching Game 7 and reaching for your putter. Making a save might be the difference between attaining greatness or maintaining sameness. Firing the puck may be the difference between taking the lead or taking the loss.

Leave it all on the ice, boys...

LET'S GO SHARKS!!!

WCQF Game 4

Thursday, Apr. 23 @ 7:30, TV: CSN-BA (HD)

There can only be one...

LET'S GO SHARKS!!!

WCQF Game 3

Tuesday, Apr. 21 @ 7:30, TV: Versus (HD)

Look, things got (admittedly) a bit ridiculous last season when we were invoking the power of 33 in the series against Dallas...

Nevertheless, I will quote David Pollak for a little perspective on where the Sharks stand at the moment:

Overall, only 12.7 percent of the 291 NHL teams that have trailed 2-0 in a seven-game series have come back to win it. That number nearly doubles to 24.4 percent, however, in the 66 instances where a team lost its first two games at home — a sign that the higher-seeded team has a better chance of reversing its course.

This is obviously not an ideal situation to be in, but I still believe that things will turn around beginning tonight. If the Sharks continue trending upward in the effectiveness of their play, the Ducks will have no answer. We have to expect that Anaheim will receive a little home cooking when it comes to officiating, which makes scoring on the reduced number of power play chances especially important. At least the seal has been broken on even strength scoring. If there's one bit of advice the Sharks need to pay attention to, it's "aim high on Hiller!". He covers everything down low. He's got trouble with high shots. Take advantage of this!

The funny thing is, if we had split the first two games and lost tonight, we would not be freaking out so badly. So if we win tonight (which I fully expect) we're 1-2 and things are not looking so grim. That's the approach we need to take...

LET'S GO SHARKS!!!

Next Up: Sharks @ Kings

Saturday, Apr. 11 @ 1:00, TV: CSN-BA

Here we are. Game 82. End of the regular season. The Sharks have the one seed locked up in the Western Conference playoffs; all that remains to be determined is if they can grab the Presidents' Trophy and stick it in the back of some closet at HP Pavilion. A win guarantees it no matter what Boston does in their last two games.

As for our Western Conference Quarterfinals dance partner, it could be St. Louis, Anaheim or even Columbus. If the BJs get one point out of their last game, they lock up #6. The situation with the Ducks and Blues is more fluid, depending on what all three of these teams do in their final contest.

Despite feeling a little under-appreciated, I still feel good about the Sharks against the Kings today. I mean, 16-63? That's downright putrid! Wait a second, something's wrong here...

Jumbo Joe gets a triple-double, Lil' Joe shoots 95% from the free throw line and the Sharks win this one going away.

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Coyotes

Thursday, Apr. 9 @ 7:30, TV: CSN-BA (HD (I don't care, I'll be there!))

After minimal internal debate, I figured that I could get away with skipping any weak ass recap of the Avs game and just post this:



That pretty much sums it all up. I'm amazed that I was able to wake up this morning after enduring that snoozefest. Fortunately, these individual skills competitions have no place in deciding real sports' playoffs. (Yes, that was absolutely a dig at soccer!)

So...

The magic number for the Sharks sits at 2 for the best record in the League and the $350K (Canadian) which the team will receive (and likely donate to a "reading is fundamental" program). [It appears that it is impossible to locate the Jeff Friesen G.O.A.L.S. commercial online. Rats!]

Just one point will win the Western Conference for San Jose.

The Coyotes are better than the Avalanche, but not by much. Cap'n Repro will apparently be back, as will everybody's favorite Newfie. These are good things. Add in the fact that we're gonna get free shit for Fan Appreciation Night, and it should be good times all around! (Seriously, it's gonna be hard to top those fleece blankets from last season. If they hand out fucking towels I will wipe my ass with mine.)

I am so ready to wrap it up and get going with the playoffs. I actually just considered blowing up the Staples Center so that the out-of-the-playoffs Kings would forfeit our last game and we could just wait for our WCQF matchup to be decided...

Go Sharks!

p.s. I used the old Coyotes logo because... it really sucks.

Next Up: Sharks vs. Avalanche

Tuesday, Apr. 7 @ 7:30, TV: Versus (HD (Yays!))


The Avalanche suck Abominable Snowman balls. The Sharks do not. Under no circumstances should San Jose lose this game. That much I know.

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks @ Ducks

Sunday, Apr. 5 @ 5:00, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

I am going to attribute last night's performance by the Sharks to the guy sitting next to me up in Section 206. This guy had breath that would knock a buzzard off a shit wagon! I mean, it was as if a family of squirrels had crawled down his throat and choked to death on their own fecal matter... a month ago! HORRIBLE.

So, yeah, that's probably why the Sharks played the way they did. That, and the fact that I don't think Cyrus ever showed up. Section 201, Row 6, orange hat? Helllloooo?!?

Taking all of that into account, I predict a much better performance by our guys down in Anaheim.

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Ducks

Saturday, Apr. 4 @ 7:00, TV: CSN-BA (HD (I don't care, I'll be there!))

Preview of Western Conference Quarterfinals or just an opportunity to send the Ducks to the golf links? There's a lot hanging in the balance with these back-to-back games. Anaheim's playing like they belong in the playoffs, San Jose's pacing the league despite the makeshift roster...

Hmmmm, where's my 12 gauge? It's time to go Duck hunting!

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks @ Oilers

Thursday, Apr. 2 @ 6:30, TV: CSN-BA

I'm too busy to post. I'll let Bakes take care of it...

Next Up: Sharks @ Flames

Monday, Mar. 30 @ 6:30, TV: CSN-BA

The Sharks set out on a two game tour of Alberta beginning with a stop in Calgary. Our old buddies the Flames are in a pretty scrappy battle to keep the 3rd seed in the Western Conference. What appeared as a lock for a large portion of the season is now a tenuous hold at best, with the hard charging 'Nucks only a point behind for the lead in the Northwest Division, plus the 'Hawks sniffing that 3rd spot with 91 points as well. Olli Jokinen has cooled off considerably since a 5 point outburst against the Mighty Leafs and the team as a whole is 4-6-0 over their last ten games. Suffice it to say, they're gonna want this one.

The boys in teal are just as banged up as in the last game, but this time Captain Reproduction is out with a lower body boo boo. He'll be at home playing with newborn Brody (seriously, Brody? WTF?). Hopefully Cheech can make it into the lineup tonight. I'm kinda sick of watching the Worcester Sharks, to be honest. Except for that McGinn kid. He can stick around. The Flames' physical style of play is one of their trademarks, so let's try to get out of this game without any more wounded, mmmkay?

Let me take this moment to congratulate the Sharks on setting a franchise record with 109 points so far. There's another 14 points out there to grab; let's go get 'em!

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Coyotes

Saturday, Mar. 28 @ 7:30, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

Here we go again. Rematch between the top and the bottom of the Pacific Division, this time on home ice. Hopefully we can pick up those two points the Red Wings left on the table last night. It'd help if one or two of our seventeen injured players made it back into the lineup. (OK, seventeen's a bit of an exaggeration, but sometimes it sure feels like that many.)

Let's see more of this:



and less of this:



Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks @ Predators

Thursday, Mar. 26 @ 5:00, TV: CSN-BA

That was a wild ride last night, eh? I guess you could say we really didn't deserve that point, but hey, we'll take it!

OK, brass tacks. If the Sharks get just one point against Nashville, we will have equaled Detroit's output over our 73rd and 74th games, but get one point ahead in the standings...

ONE POINT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH!

That's it from me. It's early, it's my birthday and I'll be lucky if I can get out of work in time to catch the start of today's game.

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks @ Blackhawks

Wednesday, Mar. 25 @ 5:30, TV: CSN-BA+

The Sharks are on the road again for their last regular season tilt against the 'Hawks. Unlike those bums from Colorado, this team has a plethora of up-and-coming talent. On the other hand, going 3-5-2 in your last ten games with a win streak of one game is no reason to start sucking each other's dicks. Looks like a young team slumping at the wrong time...

The Sharks will be without Captain Reproduction for at least this game, but it sounds like J.R. might be back in the lineup. I worry about the old man. He slings a mean shaving cream pie, but those wings just ain't what they used to be. Let's hope one doesn't fall off if he does play. We'll need him in the post-season.

On a positive note, the Woostah kids that are up to fill in for the injured aren't killing us and all this live bullet action they're getting doesn't hurt one bit when one of our regulars goes down in the playoffs. Gotta have depth. Even shrimpy depth (5'8", my ass)...

The Blackhawks won't catch Detroit, Columbus probably won't catch Chicago, so they're fighting for the 3, 4 or 5 slot. I guess there's some motivation there, but it ain't as much as trying to maintain home ice throughout. The Wings just finished off a comeback against Edmonton, so they are back in the points lead, yet we have a game in hand.

Ready for more standings ping pong?

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Avalanche

Sunday, Mar. 22 @ 5:00, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

What is an avalanche?

My dictionary tells me that it is "a mass of snow, ice, and rocks falling rapidly down a mountainside".

The 08-09 NHL season tells me that it is a mass of underperforming players, ex-Sharks-player-turned-retread-enemy-coach-on-the-hotseat, and snowblower-accident-having-captain falling rapidly down the Western Conference standings.

Did I mention that Avalanche is a shitty nickname for a pro sports team? What is this, the fuckin' WNBA? I might be able to roll with it if Cammi Granato was coach...

I don't think we need to dwell on this. Avs lose in regulation.

Section 212 will be in the house. 'Nuf said.

Next Up: Sharks vs. Stars

Saturday, Mar. 21 @ 1:00, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

Ugh, these douche nozzles again?

Dallas is sitting at 11th in the Western Conference, 3 points back of our buddies the 8th place Prediturds (thanks Coop) with a game in hand. They keep making flippy floppy with Anusheim for 2nd best in the Pacific Division. Or is it next worst? 28 points is a large divide, my friends. No matter, these fargin' iceholes always play us tough.

What I'd like to see is a solid win by the boys in teal (by at least 2 goals) with a little side order of Staubby feeding Ott a knuckle sandwich à la Tootoo.

Go Sharks!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Predators

Thursday, Mar. 19 @ 7:30, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

The Preds are coming to town after losing in Anaheim the previous night. The Sharks are laying (lying? shit, I dunno) in wait after a day off the ice and in an all hands meeting...

Maybe this is the meeting where they're all "OK, guys, we've been playing this deceptive sloppy style on purpose long enough, let's bust out the big guns again." Or not.

Maybe Setoguchi played a wicked game of badminton to clear his mind after the meeting and pulls a hat trick outta his ass in this matchup. Or not.

Maybe the refs don't make cheesedick interference calls that hose the Sharks at the end of the game. Or not.

Game on Sharkies. Game on...

Next Up: Sharks @ Coyotes

Tuesday, Mar. 17 @ 7:00, TV: CSN-BA+

Let's face it, the Coyotes suck. They are in rebuilding mode with no cash to rebuild with. It's a pretty sorry state of affairs for one grossly overpaid coach who also happens to be one of the best hockey players of all time.

Tough shit, O Great One!

The Desert Dogs poop their beds and the Sharks regain their scoring touch in one fell swoop. I'm thinking 3 goal differential at the end of regulation...

Next Up: Sharks @ Ducks

Sunday, Mar. 15 @ 5:00, TV: CSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

Moener returns to the Pond for the first time since being traded and comes away with a Gordie Howe hat trick. Sounds good to me, at least...

Ducks suck! Quack! Quack!

Next Up: Sharks vs. Kings

Saturday, Mar. 14 @ 7:00, TV: FSN-BA (HD (Yays!))

I'm gonna come right out and say it: I'm sick of this losing shit! I don't give a fuck who is out of the lineup, who is playing with an owie, who had to flush their kid's goldfish the other day or whatever...

Act like a team of destiny, not a crumbling piece of sun-dried dookie!

Get angry!
Get violent!
Get a gotdamned win!

FUCK!

p.s. Whoever drew up that crown logo should be taken out back and shot. That is a serious piece of crap.

Update: Some owies have healed.

Next Up: Sharks @ Blues

Thursday, Mar. 12 @ 5:30, TV: FSN-BA+

Look out, we may have a trap game here, and I'm not starting a discussion about defensive strategies. The Blues are 3 points out of the 8th seed in the Western Conference and every game is a playoff game for them from here on out. All three games between these teams have been decided by one goal including one overtime contest. These pesky Bluenotes should not be overlooked! I think it'll be another tight game, but we win and St. Louis sings a song of pain.

GO SHARKS!